When I was a kid I used to not recognize myself in the mirror. I would get so consumed by my emotions and the ones of others I would legit have out of body moments. I looked it up recently and this is something called dissociative disorder. I didn’t know this behavior wasn’t normal until I laughed it off once in my early 20’s and a friend reacted with concern and told me to be careful and ground myself physically on the earth. I also think I take pictures of myself sometimes to remind myself I am flesh and bones. This is just one of the many symptoms I’ve experienced in my life. Long after experiencing traumatic events I have felt like there is something wrong with me. I thought, "how could I not see all the wonderful things happening in my life?" and "Why is it so easy for me to focus and even obsess on the negative?" Added to the recipe I’ve realized survivors guilt is real and it comes with ugly self-sabotage and negative self-talk like: “I’m not worthy” or “this is too good to be true”.
1 Comment
Bombón
4/11/2019 04:55:20 am
This was all too familiar with me. I can relate with dissociative patterns.. thank you for posting about this. I appreciate how you can break down and pin-point stuff like this. helped my life make more sense. Much love you you Anatalia❤️I miss you.
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